Random Ramblings of an Inconstant Mind
by PreferBrunettes
Summary: Drabbles and poetry inspired by the crazy in my head.  Just snippets of their lives or their thoughts.  Each chapter is a different character, usually secondary...can you guess who?  Mostly canon
1. Chapter 1

**_I am not a writer, and yet I've had the sudden inspiration to put the swirling words in my head down on paper. And, guess what, they appear to have the voices of some of the characters from Twilight. I have been reading twific for a few years now so I will give credit for my inspiration to all the wonderful stories I've had the pleasure of reading. _**

**_If you are reading this, thank you for taking the time to do so._**

* * *

She is my piece

And my peace

Her music fills the caves

Her touch fades the holes

Her spirit mutes the red

She is my piece

And my peace.


	2. Chapter 2

If I don't understand

How will they ever?

It runs through my blood

Mixing with my femininity

Making me something other.

I don't understand

It makes me scared

Hide the fear, bury it away

And they can't own you

But they're inside my head anyway.

I am no longer me.

Can I be something better?


	3. Chapter 3

The lights twinkle and the trees smell divine, as if the night sky and the woods have taken residence in the Cullen living room. Christmastime is evident in every corner of our home thanks to my need for human tradition and Esme's desire for human appearances. What I believe is cinnamon wafts from Bella's mug and its warmth makes the moment complete. I wish I still had the taste buds to confirm the smell. It feels odd to know what it is but not have the tactile confirmation. I hold a mug of clove spiced tea (at least that's what the label read on yhe tin) in my hand just for the chance to participate. The echo of my past humanity always seems louder during Christmas. The need to remember the sights and smells of this holiday through my human senses is overwhelming, but they are locked away in a part of my brain that is inaccessible to me. For now I draw my enjoyment of these aromas not from my own memories but from Bella's content statement, "It smells like Christmas."


	4. Chapter 4

**_It's my birthday today! So I thought I would share some Jasper drabbles with anyone who wants to read them. The very sweet LightStarDusting took a look, but any mistakes are all mine. I don't own Twilight._**

* * *

I feel tamed. Like a circus act, revealed to display my best behavior and then caged to hide away the beast, demon, monster inside. She did this to me, but only because I asked. I did it for her, to be normal, to try and live again, to almost be human, again. I walk on a fine line, vacillating between a desire to be good for her and to give in to what I am. It's never been about control or lack of control, for that matter. It's just been a question of why, why should I not want, crave human blood. My only response is because she's asked me to, to not give in to the base instinct, to remain "civilized" as civilized as a vampire who feeds on animals can be. I can't deny that there are times that I crave the taste of human blood, to feel that life force coat my tongue and throat and warm me up from the inside. And, unfortunately, ever since she has entered our lives, that craving has started to make a more frequent appearance in my everyday. It's unfortunate that my brother is a mind reader because how I wish I could revel in the fantasy of sinking my teeth into her jugular, tasting her blood like a fine 2004 Napa Cab.

"Jasper?"

"Yes, brother dear?"

"I heard that."


	5. Chapter 5

The first bite is delicious and it sparks inside me like the first blast of fireworks. the feeling of breaking through the skin is so decadent, i imagine i'm taking a bite of the fattiest creamiest French foie gras; the blood that coats the tongue and throat is euphoric. I feel the rush just under my skin, like waves withdrawing across the sand during high tide. Then comes the push of the venom through the vein; this sharing of a life force is exhilarating, it's the power to create a life. The sensations begin to simmer but just before they hit boiling point the panic begins to set in, the fear of taking too much of giving too much. I feel like I've been shoved out of a daydream and I become aware of her pain...and even a twinge of pleasure...as her body absorbs the venom and the spark is immediately extinguished. That moment of bliss is stolen from me. It was only second hand, but for just a moment, like a minuscule drop of rain, it actually felt like it were my lips at her throbbing vein.

_Edward_, I think, _was it too much to ask for you to have enjoyed that first bite before you turned Bella? i would have liked to savor that feeling._


End file.
